Welcome...
Donna is conducting a research study to investigate marriages that have lasted 20 years after the betrayal had occurred. This study will help to learn about the long long term effects and why some marriages are able to survive.
The study will evaluate dimensions of personal well-being and individual and relationship functioning.
All responses will be confidential (meaning your personal identification will not be revealed)Participation criteria requires participants be married a minimum of 20 years. Any participation would be appreciated, having both partners participate would be ideal. Please email Donna or call 561-685-3933.
Special: Infidelity Reflections selling for $5.95 on this site. Please write 5.95 on your order.
Workshop Coming!! For Couples who are serious about healing their relationship. Are you ready?
Donna will teach couples how to restore trust. Please contact Donna for more information. 6 couples maximum.
561-685-3933 or email: lcsw@drbalternatives.com.
Location - South Florida
Top Reasons to Attend This Workshop:
Donna will teach you how to:
Understand and comfort your partner even when you disagree. (conflict resolution)
Tell your partner what you want instead of expecting your partner to know.(To avoid mind-reading)
Stand your ground when it matters. (Direct communication, building your own self-esteem, and assertiveness) show your support for your partner's goals.
Listen to your partner. (show affection, show love, empathy, interest)
Learn why a sincere effort to change can make a significant difference in your marriage. (People can usually recognize imposters)
Hello Newcomers! A hearfelt welcome to you. Our group is warm and welcoming. Please feel free to join after reading about our history and development. Getting through your recovery you will need to take care of yourself. Please print this contract.
My Contract For Self-Care (You may print for personal use)
I am an important person.
I will continue to take care of myself.
I will start and exercise program to help my sadness and angry feelings. My exercise program will help to raise my self-esteem.
I will do something special for myself each day. ex. Buy some flowers, get a facial, massage, buy a book, watch a good movie, take a walk, call a friend, take a trip, go out for lunch, take a bubble bath, start a new hobby, take an academic course, join a bowling league, walk or run for a charity, take dance lessons, go golfing, fishing.
I will start a journal to write down my feelings.
I will talk out my feelings with a trusted person.
I will keep talking all I want about this.
I will realize I am grieving and that these feelings will pass.
I will realize I have the strength to recover, and I will. I will come out of this stronger than I have ever been. I will accept the things that I have no control over.
I will go one day at a time. Signature_____________________________ Date__________________________________ copyright 2004
Please go to this page for relaxation exercises;
http://www.purplepill.com/nexium_users/relaxation/relax.aspx
RECENT EMAIL FROM MEMBER Dear Donna, I just wanted to let you know that at the end of this month, I will be leaving the group. I wanted to personally thank you for your help, and for providing a site such as yours. I have met a lot of wonderful people, and am glad to have known them. You provide a very valuable service to those of us who have found ourselves in a place we never thought we'd be. I hope I've been able to help others there, and I know they've been a help to me. Keep up the great work! -- Thanks, Hope
Tip for healing: Journal writing is well recognized as a valuable tool to develop understanding and sort out what you are feeling. Personal journal writing gives us an opportunity to reflect on what we have learned and to make connections between our own ideas, feelings and other people's knowledge. When we feel confused, anxious and overwhelmed, writing our thoughts down can help sort out our emotions and situations. It will help you to see your situation in a new light. Keeping a record of our feelings helps us to look at how our feelings, perceptions and thoughts have changed over time. Try to spend 15 minutes a day writing down your thoughts and feelings. At the end of the week, read it. You can evaluate your progress each week. Sit in a comfortable chair, take a deep breath, and start writing. Keep it up for 20 minutes without stopping. See what comes out. If you are having trouble putting your finger on what's bothering you,this may help you narrow the field. Another journaling tip, is to focus a 20-minute writing session on a problem or concern that keeps coming back to your mind over and over. Write down, in detail, what it is about this problem that worries or angers you. Predict three different scenarios for what might happen next. Which one do you like best and why? What role might you play in making each scenario come to pass? Just remember, that how you write is not important. You're not going to be graded. Jot down phrases, skip the punctuation if you feel like it. This doesn't have to be perfect. To make the process more pleasing, buying a journal that you will really enjoy using -- perhaps one with pictures, or one with colored pages -- and using pens or colored pencils that are fun and appealing. Just start to write. Don't expect your writing to be monumental. It's the process that's important.
Donna continues to do her life-changing work with loving care, and wisdom.
Since 1998 the DRB Alternatives site has been enormously successful at providing on-line help
and hope for people dealing with issues relating to infidelity.
Here is what some of our members have said …
“I want to thank you for this board. I have been going to counseling for a long time
and reading posts on this board has meant more to me. It has validated feelings that I couldn’t
explain (like going from loving thoughts of my husband to hating him). I have learned that
there is compassion for everyone on this board because we all understand the pain of betrayal.
This board is something I do just for me and it sure helps!!”
“I have a home here in this community. This site has had a significant impact on
my own travails. It is cruel irony that, at a time when you most need support, you find yourself
seemingly alone with your pain and sadness. One good thing to come from all of this: I have
been more able to express (my) emotions. You won’t always agree with the postings, but
this site is guaranteed to help you develop healthier ways of dealing with this horrible trauma.”
“My therapist too thinks that this is a very positive step, and helpful in the healing
process. He was happy to hear that there is such a site. He thought it was great that I was
sharing my story as well, and not just reading other people’s postings. Don’t know
what I would have done without all of you...”
“Thank you for this board. It has been a sanity saver for so many of us. I wonder
if you know how much and how many of us this message has helped, how very grateful most of
us are to have happened upon this place.”
“For so many of us this is the calm in the storm. Thank you again for this oasis.
God bless you for this service.”
*Please Note – To protect the privacy of our community participants we have
omitted their names and/or internet handles.
Our Site is Changing, Not Our Message
Based on the positive feedback we received, we knew we were on the right track. However, we
also realized that with so many people visiting our site, it was becoming difficult to manage.
Since our goal was to offer meaningful help to those serious about healing themselves and helping
others, we have decided to make our site open only to those who make a commitment to join the
group.
This “members only” venue gives people a safe environment in which to connect with
others who wish to heal and to start over. * Our site is especially valuable to those who may
not have a support group available in their community, or who, for whatever reason, are more
comfortable with an on-line group. Our site provides self-help support with the feel of a face-to-face
group.
For those who are in counseling and for those who are not
Whether people are receiving formal counseling or not, this group can provide valuable feedback
and encouragement from other people dealing with the same issues. In fact, many referrals to
our group will come from therapists and employee assistance professionals, who believe that
this community will help their clients through the healing process.
Members who are currently in formal counseling may invite their therapist to visit and evaluate
our site. (Therapists, who wish to visit, must provide their name and state license number to
us for verification.) We also have guest speakers on the site from time to time, and any therapist
interested in becoming a guest speaker should contact us with credentialing information.
Our new site offers several self-help options for our members. A Message Board will be available for postings and the site will, of course,
remain open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week
Membership is open to all who are hurting and healing from the pain of infidelity, and to those
who wish to learn, grow and share perspectives with others who care. Our goal is to keep this
community safe and supportive, free from conflict and stress—a place where members can
come together to help one another.
Membership Information
Membership information will be kept strictly confidential. Your name and other personal information
will never be shared with any other member or organization.
Your $12.95 membership includes…
Cancellation Policy
Once you have joined our group, if you select a recurring membership your membership will automatically
renew on a monthly basis. You may cancel your membership at any time. Once we have received
your cancellation, your membership will remain in effect until the last day of the 30 day billing
cycle, at which time, membership will be terminated: you will no longer have access to the site
and will incur no further charges.
Sample Postings
Following are examples of some of the previous sessions, showing how the group works:
View sample postings
Comments are welcome
Finally, we realize that the Internet communication is still in its infancy. Feedback on how
to improve our site to make it even more valuable to our members is always welcome. Please e-mail
us with your comments.
Our door is open, our hearts are warm! Please come in!
Board Policies
All participants must be 18 years or older.
While DRB Alternatives, Inc. maintains the right to enforce our policies, we are not responsible
for the content of the postings or information members share with each other. As site owner
and manager, DRB Alternatives, Inc. reserves the right to monitor this community and to delete
outdated and incongruent messages. We do not keep a library of messages.
As with any face-to-face group, members bear the responsibility for protecting their boundaries.
To join our On-Line Self-Help Support Group, please click the button below…
Shortly after registration you will receive confirmation of your chosen username and password
by e-mail, which you will need to gain access to the members area. Membership is $12.95 per month. You may cancel at any time by logging in to PayPal's web site and viewing the details of your subscription.
Through PayPal, we accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express, and Discover, as well as Visa or MasterCard debit/check cards and e-check transactions.
